Beaten and Left for Dead: The Story of Teri Jendusa-Nicolai Read online

  BEATEN AND

  LEFT FOR DEAD

  The Story of Teri Jendusa-Nicolai

  By Dave Alfvin

  BEATEN AND

  LEFT FOR DEAD

  The Story of Teri Jendusa-Nicolai

  By Dave Alfvin

  Copyrighted

  RJ Parker Publishing

  (05.2017)

  ISBN-13: 978-1987902334

  ISBN-10:1987902335

  http://RJParkerPublishing.com/

  Published in the United States of America

  Copyrights

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written authorization from RJ Parker Publishing, Inc. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by fines and federal imprisonment.

  While the Publisher is responsible for the sales, marketing and distribution of a book, it is the author's obligation to ensure the accuracy of facts.

  Thank you to my Publisher, editor, proof-readers, and cover artist for your support.

  - Dave

  RJ Parker Publishing, Aeternum Designs (book cover), Bettye McKee (editor)

  Proof-readers:

  Marlene Fabregas, Katherine McCarthy, Robyn MacEachern, Patricia Lenckus, Laura Martin, Selene MacLeod, Kinikia Baur and Darlene Horn

  _____________

  “This is a work of nonfiction. No names have been changed, no characters invented, no events fabricated.”

  – RJ Parker, PhD

  More True Crime Books on Amazon:

  rjpp.ca/RJ-PARKER-BOOKS

  Table of Contents

  Foreword 6

  Introduction 8

  A Horrid Hawaii Honeymoon 11

  Dating David 17

  Teri’s Marriage: Year One 23

  More Serious Attacks: Years Two & Three 34

  David’s Church Kingdom 47

  Teri’s Support Network 55

  The Divorce Circus 59

  The Aftermath 70

  Saturday Morning Abduction 73

  The Longest Night 85

  Angels of Mercy 92

  Medical Miracles 103

  Teri’s Return Home 126

  David Larsen on Trial 134

  Epilogue: Teri’s Reflections 140

  The Fight for Victims’ Rights 156

  Inside an Abuse Shelter and How Advocates Work with Victims 161

  Michelle Meyer’s Words of Encouragement to Women 173

  The Front Lines: Working Directly with Abusers and Encouraging Results 176

  Acknowledgments 199

  Teri's Acknowledgments 200

  About the Author 203

  Foreword

  Teri Jendusa-Nicolai's story is a powerful example of the horrific lengths of barbarism a man can go when he considers a woman his personal property. And it is, equally, an inspiring, riveting story of a woman's courage and clear thinking under the absolute worst of conditions, and of her will to live when her ex-husband put her through an extended torture that he meant for her to die from.

  There is a wake-up call here to all of us. Our society is much too tolerant of men who take the attitude that women exist for their use and pleasure. Although David Larsen's final attack was extreme, he worked his way up to that point by engaging in oppressive behaviors that he shared with millions of men across the continent. He believed in his right to tell Teri where she could go, what she could do, and whom she could see. His decisions were final and he respected no rights of hers. David looked down on women in general, and considered Teri an object that belonged to him; as he said to her, "You're bought and paid for."

  Human rights are established by international treaties. People have, without exception, the right to free speech, to wear what they choose, to associate with the people they wish to, to come and go as they please, and to pursue their work life. David Larsen respected none of these rights; and tragically, neither do abusive men everywhere. But we are still stuck on excusing these behaviors in men and blaming women; in fact, we still seem to believe that women somehow have the magical power to cause men to become violent and, therefore, that men are not responsible for their own actions. David's horrific acts were a product of a culture that we all contribute to. And that we all need to contribute to changing.

  I am so grateful to Teri Jendusa-Nicolai and to David Alfvin for getting this story out to us. Don't miss it.

  Lundy Bancroft

  Author, trainer, and activist on male violence against women

  Introduction

  If you knew Teri Jendusa-Nicolai many years ago, and then met her today, you’d think nothing has changed in her life, except that she walks with a stiff gait. She is, and always has been, an immensely positive and energetic woman, and a passionately loving mother. Teri’s ability to laugh at the drop of a hat is just one of the many miracles surrounding her life today. Teri should not be here to tell her story, and yet she is.

  BEATEN AND LEFT FOR DEAD is a story of extreme control, anger, violence and malice. But it is also a documentary of Teri’s courage, perseverance, survival, faith, and ultimately, her triumph. Today, Teri is one of the nation’s most visible advocates against domestic violence, speaking at college campuses, schools, rallies and professional groups across the nation.

  Teri is convinced that her miraculous survival was God’s sign for her to take the anti-abuse message to the streets: domestic violence is real, it’s everywhere, and it needs to be stopped in its tracks, right now. Teri recently spoke to me about her first large audience…and how it went really well in spite of her stage fright. I asked, “So, after your first big speaking event, you said to yourself, ‘I think I can do this,' right?” Teri’s reply was simple and somewhat blunt: “It wasn’t a question of can I do this. No, I felt I must do this; this is my destiny. Too many lives are at stake.”

  Included in this book is important educational information on what happens inside of domestic abuse shelters and what state coalitions do to help victims and the shelters in their states.

  Maureen Manning-Rosenfeld, a professional counselor with 35 years experience, works with abusers to get their lives turned around, with amazing results. Yes, amazing results. There is hope with the abusers. Read how it’s done.

  Finally, Lundy Bancroft provides excellent commentary on domestic abuse. Bancroft is a best-selling author and nationally recognized expert on domestic abuse; you will find his comments stimulating and useful.

  I met Teri about a year before her near-death ordeal through my fiancée Pam Gustafson, one of Teri’s guardian angels. Her abduction was horribly traumatic for all her friends, and Pam and I were no exception. But after her rescue, we were absolutely ecstatic.

  Having written a previous book and knowing Teri personally, I felt her story must be told, and Teri agreed. Now, after many long hours of interviews, Teri’s story is in print. Teri’s courage, her ability to overcome adversity, and her fierce love for her children will be indelibly stamped in my memory. Teri is truly an inspiring woman and mother.

  -Dave Alfvin

  Teri Jendusa-Nicolai

  A Horrid Hawaii Honeymoon

  David Larsen struck his wife, Teri, on the fourth day of their honeymoon—the first time he'd ever physically harmed her in their relationship. Prior to that, David’s temper only revealed itself in verbal outbursts—sometimes extreme, but always directed at others, which typically included such epithets as
“stupid” and “idiots.” David also reserved a personal favorite term for any woman in authority or most women who worked for a living: “stupid lesbian bitches.”

  Until this post-nuptial outburst, David played the part of a normal, though foul-mouthed and short-tempered, husband. It was an ugly side of him that would manifest itself to be far worse than Teri ever imagined.

  Actually, the two-week honeymoon began as well as one would expect. David had done a meticulous job renting a tidy condo on a Maui beach. The first few days there were “nice,” as Teri described them. There were no arguments during the first days of the honeymoon, just a few stressful moments. The couple ventured up a beautiful bluff on one of the first nights to admire the Hawaiian sunset, a textbook example of a romantic vacation activity. But like all good things, this time of romance and excitement was not meant to last. Unbeknownst to Teri, a fierce storm was brewing behind David’s façade of care and compassion. With a simple hiking trip, the honeymoon quickly took a darker, more frightening turn.

  Those who are familiar with Hawaii and the tropics know that it’s a common practice to wear a swimsuit under your clothes in the event you decide to enjoy the ocean on a moment’s notice. Teri’s hike was meant to be a simple outing and as such, Teri dressed in shorts and tennis shoes, with her bikini underneath. She and her new husband started on their walk through the woods to reach a picturesque waterfall. They had only been married a few days and were already soaking in the beautiful landscape and enjoying a true Hawaiian vacation. Could life get any better?

  Unfortunately, this high point was the beginning of a downward spiral for the newlywed couple. As wonderful as the honeymoon began, a problem had developed, one that caught Teri off guard. David insisted that she hike in nothing but her swimsuit. As one would expect, Teri wasn’t particularly comfortable with the idea.

  “This isn’t Playboy, David,” she replied tersely. “I’m going to dress for a hike like everybody else; I don’t want people to see me climbing around in my bikini.”

  David threw a tantrum and all but demanded that Teri strip down to her bikini, which she resolutely refused to do. And so, from that point on, David was surly and petulant with her. Teri was hurt because he wasn’t listening to her, or couldn’t listen. She felt she had a legitimate issue concerning the swimsuit fiasco—a personal one. What she didn’t realize yet was that her opinion no longer mattered under David’s new regime. And now, the honeymoon had deteriorated into a quiet, bitter affair, as neither husband nor wife would talk to one another. As bad as things were, there would be a further turn for the worse.

  Well into their brooding period, David finally snapped and forcefully struck his new wife five times on the crown of her head with the heel of his right palm. These were not playful “dings” on the head, as when couples joke with each other; these were strong blows on the head delivered with power. Teri later recalled that this was his special way of saying, “wake up and listen to me.” Stunned and shaken, Teri stared at David in amazement. No one had ever hit her before, and she immediately lashed back at her aggressor.

  “You don’t go around hitting people!” she yelled. “I should call the police on you!”

  “Who ya gonna call? Hawaii Five-O?” David said, laughing; he knew he was in control. With just a few words, he had crushed his wife’s unexpected retaliation. This was a side of David that Teri had never seen before, a frightening, emphatic man who behaved more like a dictator than a loving and caring husband. She withdrew from David mostly out of fear, but also because she wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

  What Teri would soon realize was that for David, marriage was nothing less than a blood bond with a wife, and once it was official, the man of the house then accepted the responsibility of making each and every decision, no matter how important or insignificant. David had found religion in the Marines and believed he could make military standards an effective way to run a household. Marriage meant an unshakable contract, and now that David and Teri were joined in holy matrimony, his code of family conduct was fully enforceable and included consequences for crimes of disobedience. After all, he was the commanding officer. Teri was his property, and she was expected to submit to his every command; David intended to make sure Teri obeyed him explicitly, to the very last detail.

  Fortunately for Teri, David did not display any more violent outbursts during the honeymoon, but having been physically attacked by the man she just married had all but ruined the event. Not once did David attempt to apologize for the head-striking incident. She would eventually realize that for him, apologies weren’t just difficult; they were virtually impossible. Even a full two days after the attack, David was clueless as to why Teri continued to mope around the condo.

  Finally, he asked her, “Why are you in such a bad mood?”

  Teri could hardly believe what she was hearing.

  “You hit me on the head five times, and you’re not sorry. You don’t know what’s wrong?” she answered.

  “Well, yeah…that was two days ago,” David offered weakly before launching a hasty counterattack. “You made me do this by the way you were acting.”

  That wasn’t what Teri wanted to hear. She withdrew from David, appalled by the A-bomb that had just exploded on her so-called “honeymoon holiday.” The realization that she had not only been struck by her new husband, but had also been ridiculed and verbally abused without remorse, was sickening. All she felt then was disbelief mixed with sorrow and bitterness. The crushed woman simply wanted to be home with her friends where she knew she at least had an alternative to the life she chose. That was all.

  Two weeks in Hawaii…and such a profound disappointment. How could this have happened? She had known David for so long!

  Bewildered, confused, and hurt, Teri finally returned home for blessed relief…and a short escape from David.

  Dating David

  Teri first met David twelve years before they ever dated, through a group of students from the University of Wisconsin-Parkside who maintained their friendships after graduation. The six regulars and their various acquaintances hung out mostly in pubs, drinking beer and talking long into the night. It was a simple life with no commitments. Individual personalities blended into the group, and everyone, including the man who would eventually become her husband, seemed cool.

  Teri and David began dating in 1995, long after he returned from two years of service in the U.S. Marine Corps. As Teri describes their relationship, “it just sort of happened.” They had been friends for many years and genuinely liked each other. David was charming and fun to be around…most of the time. “When he was good, he was very, very good, like the poem about the little girl with the little curl,” Teri says with a laugh. David would often complain to her about his past girlfriends with the indictment “they just didn’t listen.” This might have appeared to be a universal analysis of his past girlfriends’ personality shortcomings, but “not listening” was nothing less than a fatal flaw in David’s eyes. In the vernacular of David Larsen, listen and obey were synonymous.

  Looking back on those early days, Teri regrets the fact that she was unable to interpret the ramifications of David’s complaints when she first heard them. “They wouldn’t listen,” the apparent reason for her husband’s failed relationships, betrayed an ominous truth—listening to David was the cardinal rule in his kingdom. David’s strict devotion to this mandate had long ago led to the formation of a set of rigid, self-defined rules and values by which he lived. Furthermore, anyone who wished to be part of his family was expected to follow the same rules or suffer consequences.

  While they dated, David’s temper outbursts, though worrisome at times, were always directed at others, usually labeled as “stupid people,” but never at Teri. In retrospect, Teri wishes she had been more analytical in her thought process—and perhaps if she had, she may have been able to draw a link between David’s statements and his true personality. But overall, he was on his best behavior around her, and
with the exception of an occasional anger outburst, she couldn’t point out many serious flaws. Her first impression of the relationship was that their life seemed nearly perfect.

  On their first dates, Teri witnessed several heated and extremely disproportionate outbursts from her new boyfriend. Though David did his best to mask his anger from the public, especially his fellow churchgoers, Teri nevertheless saw right through the weak facade whenever his temper got the better of him. Outspoken and volatile, he was not at all ashamed to let the world know exactly what he thought of it, and anyone who stood in his way was simply asking to be pushed aside. When all of his pent-up fury unleashed itself, though, David’s typical punching bags often took the form of commonplace people like service workers, hotel managers, motorists, and any other “stupid idiots” he deemed in need of judgment. In David’s world, there were no misunderstandings or miscommunications—just stupidity, which David countered with blatant hostility and ridicule. David could easily be “the customer from hell.”

  Once, when the two were traveling in David’s car, they came upon a construction zone. One of the workers, a young woman, was standing beside the road with a flag, signaling cars to yield, then waving them through one at a time. When David’s turn came, however, he had no intention of obeying the worker’s commands. She was, after all, a woman, and thus had no authority to tell him when to stop.

  “Stupid lesbian bitch!” he screamed, and rolled the car forward.

  Again, the woman flagged David to stop, but to no avail. As the car kept on moving, Teri grew even more uncomfortable. She couldn’t understand why David was displaying this much hostility at such a trivial inconvenience, or why he believed it was solely the female worker’s fault for slowing him down when he could clearly see that there was construction ahead.